Discrete Reversal has won the voting and Harry the Louse has now been renamed. Here is the new cover and thank you to everyone for their input.
'Discrete Reversal' looks at two mature professional women’s quest for some latter-day romance in a tourist hotspot where, apparently by coincidence, they meet Harry a plausible Cretan businessman. Unknown to them Harry, who has been driven to the brink by the Greek debt crisis, has targeted them as part of his desperate summer activity to find and sweet talk a well-heeled ‘soft-touch’ woman out of her nest egg. The two women play-down their true occupations and Harry reckons either one of them could be the answer to his prayers. Yet has he bitten off more than he can chew?
Visit here to read more about the the book including extracts and pictures of the beautiful island of Crete
A reader contacted me saying she had read Harry the Louse on the recommendation of a friend and enjoyed it immensely. She said the reason she contacted me was that she would never have bought the book unprompted with such an unappealing title and felt others could also miss the opportunity of a good read.
She suggested one possible new title and other friends have helped me with a couple more and the three options I favour are here. Changing a book title is a one-off event so the more people that give their opinion the better.
To all those that respond, I will advise them personally the date on which the re-branded book will be offered free on Kindle.
You can find out more about the book here
Interesting Facts about Greece:-
The world’s third leading producer of olives, the Greeks have cultivated olive trees since ancient times. The Ancient Olive Tree of Vouves here on Crete, said to be around 3000 years old, is still producing olives.
Interesting Facts about Greece:-
Many Greek structures such as doors, windowsills, furniture and church domes are painted a turquoise blue, especially in the Cyclades Islands. It is used because of an ancient belief that this shade of blue keeps evil away. They called the colour kyanos, which the words “cyan” and “cyanide” are derived from.
The referendum was a triumph for the democratic process, yet there is something about that process that has become tainted. Those that administer the system seem to be obsessed with demonstrating how we voters may be categorised and so understood; that may be good for predicting future plebiscites and elections but it is clearly divisive.
We now are suffering recriminations...the young against the old, the south against the north and the high immigrant areas against the low. Principle example is Scotland and, as I mentioned in my last Oddity article, it has caused those with an agenda to attempt to seek political advantage.
I do not believe that we should have recorded, let alone issued, a demographic breakdown of the votes. There should have been just one nationwide result for stay and leave...a single record of the overall voice of the subjects of this kingdom of ours. We should stop fuelling divisiveness in the name of justifying our democracy...we should speak with one voice, loud and clear.
Now that David Cameron has done the decent thing, it would be churlish to criticise his leadership...the man did his best, yet was he fully equipped for the role? Was he, unbeknown to us, too reliant on others to fill gaps in his background? Was it this reliance on others that caused him to be too trusting of the vacuous authority that stems from the EU? Have we given too much credence to professional politicians rather than rely on the experience of a well-formed life of maturity? Do we expect our would-be leaders to know it all yet show amazement when they seem to stagger blindly into a situation the village idiot would avoid?
Boris Johnson taking over as prime minister would have raised no eyebrows, yet he is no more qualified for the job than the man he would be replacing. He, too, is of a privileged background and enjoyed an education few of us could aspire to, before studying politics at one of our best universities. However, what has he done? His CV may glow with political and administrative glory, but like Cameron, what has he done in his life? He has no calluses on his hands, no understanding of hunger and no deprivation beyond the late arrival of his tuck box in the prep-school dorm. Unlike those that rebelled in the referendum against the political elite, he knows neither hunger nor redundancy, joblessness nor pulling in the belt...put bluntly, while Boris is quite able to appear to be worthy, I fear that it is an act that disguises his similarity to the present incumbent. We do not need more of the same....this has been a major decision and we should look to revising our whole political conception on the road forward.
Since drafting this article and whilst in the process of refining it, Boris has decided not to stand; perhaps he has come to realise that the country needs somebody more ordinary, more in tune with the raft people that voted against the political elite and self-serving career politicians. Whatever his reasons, he has made the best decision for the country.
Theresa May would deserve the top job. Her background is one that could have applied to lots of her fellow country folk. She ploughed a path toward earning a living that did not foresee political high office and has adapted to her role with aplomb. It would be indeed ironic that a referendum on the European Union could again catapult a woman into the top job, given that our last woman prime minister was ousted by her party because of her suspicions about the European project. Yet Theresa May never had Maggie’s courage to stand up and be counted on the subject; she was of the Remain camp and is not fervently anti-EU so, in my opinion, has forfeited her opportunity. However, she will be a steadying hand on the new PM’s tiller.
Step forward Dr Liam Fox who has advocated Brexit wholeheartedly. He is Scottish by birth, of council house upbringing and with an education that was not paid for. He studied at Glasgow University to become qualified in medicine and work as a GP. He may not have those calluses on his hands but only because by dint of his own efforts, he trod a different path. He has a couple of blots in his copybook, like many of us...oh that I had but a couple! One was over his expenses during the scandal period, yet sometimes a poacher is the best gamekeeper to do something about a system that still requires revision and bring MP’s expenses more in line with those enjoyed by the vast majority.
Those of us that have made mistakes in our lives and have been held to account know that carrying a handicap often stops us getting carried away with overblown self-belief. While Miss Pinchmouth would not see Fox as her type of Scot, he nonetheless is and we need to bring the Scottish national strength back into the mainstream UK fold. Fox has had a well-rounded education and a sound working background. He is now MP for North Somerset and maybe some of the qualities that we yokels possess may have equipped the Somerset-based Bellstone Fox to lead a unified country to better times.
I ignored two candidates in first writing this article because I did not believe either would run; one seemed to have accepted life in the shadow of Boris while the other, although perfectly capable, did not seem to have sufficient political experience for the top job...but neither did Maggie. Yet Maggie was head and shoulders above the rest as it turned out. Andrea Leadsom could be another Thatcher, the PM the country needs in this new era. However, I do not believe she will garner support among her colleagues, despite her credentials. Nonetheless, she will have a significant role to play in the government of this country in the wider world.
I always thought Michael Gove would make a good PM. His parliamentary record speaks for itself. He would have been the intellectual support that Boris needed. Now he has a bigger role to play...supporting his country as it rediscovers its place on the world stage. Like Liam Fox he is Scottish by birth so has that blood coursing through his veins and the birthright to reunite our kingdom. However, while Gove would never cite his origins for political advantage, perhaps because in the Conservative Party he might not have seen them as an advantage, the most certainly are now. Michael Gove can be no more ordinary than any of us. He was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth...he is Mr Average, Mr Anybody and how more ordinary can anybody be than to be born to a young unmarried mother and given up for adoption? His adoptive parents, the Goves, saw merit in their chosen son and bestowed a private education upon him. Yet, for the youngster, this was his luck of the draw and not because of any silver spoon.
I believe this man has qualities far beyond the norm and I look forward to his victory...he could be your son or mine...how more ordinary could that be?
I am an oddity...a right wing advocate of democracy. My proxy vote in the recent referendum was based on my belief in democracy and its continuing erosion by stealth by those that drive the European Project. That stealthy approach has turned into the foundation of present life, where political and financial self-appointed elites believe they have the right to do as they please despite the will of the people.
We should have seen the rebellion coming with the election of Jeremy Corbyn; true, he had put away Michael Foot’s donkey jacket with its ‘I was at the Cenotaph’ slogan fading quietly, but here was a man from that long past mold...a man that would, if empowered, turn back the clock...a man that flew in the face of the elite.
Cameron had been part of the elite for so long, he didn’t see himself as elite...just deserving of the top job. Yet he took his eye off the ball and failed to read the runes...he has paid a heavy price, just like Margaret. He, too, was defeated by the EU when he could have recommended that we should leave because ‘they’ were not interested in deviation and democracy...but he didn’t and like Gordon Brown, he will be soon forgotten.
I had written some 100 blogs as Wyndham N Scarper…Daily Thoughts of a Somerset Yokel, where I had unpacked the EU project and condemned it; I had said that I would rather be poor and free than wealthy and in chains and I stand by this. We are a unique nation that has been the upholder of the democratic process for hundreds of years...now we shall take our rightful place in the world again.
I shall be sorry if Scotland decides to quit the UK because any referendum they might have is skewed. I venture that most Scots living in England voted for Brexit and they, too, should be able to vote in any referendum that affects Scottish blood. But, if Miss Pinchmouth thinks leaving a UK that has funded Scotland through thick and thin will be in her country’s interest, she must take her chance. For England and the rest of GB it will be a win/win situation...no more financing Europe and no more financing the land of Wode.
To all my countrymen that voted with confidence in themselves, I applaud you. These are great times for great people doing great things in a great country called Great Britain. Thank you for believing in yourselves.
The planned voyage to Iraklia from Amorgos was pretty uneventful once the strange wandering around the sea, instead of making a direct beeline for the tiny island, had been solved. Yours truly was suffering from advanced stupidity and realised that the autopilot does not work well when not switched on.
The seas were far from heavy but let’s say they were spirited, yet until the last furlong, or perhaps furling would be more apposite, there was little to discourage a pleasant doze in the sun. However, as we approached Iraklia from the south, another yacht was homing in on the harbour from the north with its spinnaker billowing its determination to make a rapid arrival.
Iraklia is not a large harbour, so I expect the captain, of what was probably a charter vessel, did not want to disappoint his paying guests by letting a little interloper creep in first. We followed him in, but he wandered about the harbour like a water-boatman insect on acid, before selecting a suitable place to drop anchor. We had to sail around in circles at the harbour mouth before homing in on a spot in just 2m of water and a reasonable row ashore.
First port of call was a taverna overlooking the harbour where we found the proprietor kneading the dough for the bread he anticipated would answer his daily needs, because there’s no popping round Lidl’s for a few more! The Greeks cater for shortfall by resorting to an over-baked bread rather like bread rolls in crisp-bread form...I find it surprising they’ve not caught on in the UK, but maybe the paucity of unannounced guests make them less warranted, even though they will last indefinitely in the back of the cupboard. As a crisp-bread they are superb but they also make a pretty good substitute for bread and the trick is to apply just the right amount of water and/or olive oil to soften them to a bread-like form but not so much that they fall apart like a saturated Weetabix.
Manolis the Tavernas, his bread now rising and the aroma making our leaving less attractive, pointed us in the direction of the house of the grandmother of a Crete kafeneion owner friend. We had promised we would say ‘hello’ to the old girl but found her bemused by a gaggle of Brits saying hello to her in unfamiliar Greek that her granddaughter remarked was probably the first time in her life that she had ever been spoken to by a foreigner, other than a doctor from another part of Greece.
The next morning it was a two hour dash across the strait to the island of Schinoussa, which is another ferry port with harbour-side tavernas. It’s a pretty little spot but offers little of interest other than the temptation to see life at the top of the hill at the Chora.
We were some way up the winding road when we came upon a lorry delivering building materials to a part-built house. I asked the driver, an optimist as it turned out, how far it was to the Chora and received the encouraging estimate of 700 metres. As we plodded on, the lorry driver, left in no doubt where we were headed, crawled past us as we trudged up the hill in the scorching sunshine. There appeared to be a path with steps cutting directly through the twisting road, heading for the village, so we took this route. Soon I was ascending in the way of a wooden-legged man as my right knee protested the steps, but eventually behind the fitter, I panted my way into the Chora and headed for the closest refreshment in a first floor taverna and more cursed stairs.
A stroll through the village revealed some seventy houses, tavernas and shops but few people...like most such islands there has been a draining away of the future life-blood to the mainland cities in search of work. Pondering why we had laboured to the top, we headed back for the harbour, the boat and a siesta, but this time followed the stepped path all the way. This was obviously a recently laid path and although well built, it served little real purpose other than to spend some of that magical bottomless pit of wealth, EU money. I have little knowledge of civil engineering, but at a guess I expect the path cost upwards of €200, 000 (including all administration) or about €400/metre. What a pathway to success...a bit like the road the EU built on Iraklia, three kilometeres for three cars but spending distant people’s taxes is easy when you have a bureaucratic nature...God bless them.
Amorgos is a pretty south Aegean isle in the Cyclades group with much in common with many Greek islands. Once, in the age before regular ferry communication, when inter-island travel was the sole province of the caïque or fishing boat, communities were self-supporting unless emergency struck. Imagine sending Petros in his boat twenty miles to fetch a doctor when you have a sick child.
On Amorgos, like other islands, nearly all signs of that essential self-sufficiency have sadly disappeared. Should there be an afterlife what would our forebears think if they were able to look down upon our modern times where their efforts have fallen into disrepair? To see the desolation would be heart-rending for folk that toiled all day, while the sun shone, building terraces of gardens climbing like broad stairways up once-virgin hillsides, all supported by dry-stone walls. The wall building ability still can be seen but now is generally one of the trades required by developers and speculators building Fernando’s hideaway or gracing an unused field, where once the people reaped what they sowed, with a cluster of twee white and blue-painted holiday villas. Here the hoi-polloi are tempted to spend their hard-earned fortnight’s holiday in a semblance of what life in a Mediterranean island means. It means quickly enjoying the view you have paid for, because if you should be naive enough to believe that change to the islands won’t affect you, think again. When you make your rebooking, next visit there is likely to be another villa a handshake away, ruining that idyllic view.
Our journey to Amorgos was an eight hour rodeo ride through heavy seas and gusting force 8 winds and even if Amorgos had turned out to be some developers’ paradise, I would have been happy to step ashore amidst their vandalism. Luckily, it has escaped the fate of other islands and remains a worthwhile destination for the discerning. However, we must recognise that the more popular a place becomes, the more demand there will be for accommodation and the attention of developers. It is an inevitable consequence of building a community of houses rather than houses for a community that we create 8 month-a-year ghost settlements. When the tourists have left, the community of houses stands as a testimony to a modern life where we spend 50 weeks grafting at a job we dislike, for a boss we dislike even more, for a company whose owners are hidden, doing things we wouldn’t want done to us, so that we may pay our mortgages and bring up our declining numbers of offspring. We are naturally pleased with ourselves that we may take a fortnight out of the nightmare and spend it in the same peace and tranquillity enjoyed by all those lucky Mediterranean people for whom graft must be a thing of the past.
In the time it has taken you to read this, I have ridden around Amorgos and seen the essential sights; I have seen the Chora on the hill with its narrow alleyways like a human ants’ nest. I counted 30-something churches before Saint Tedium suggested there were as many cafes and each would be more likely to deliver salvation in exchange for coins in their offertory box.
Across the island I stood in awe before a while slab of a monastery that had been built into a cliff face. I tried to imagine the devoutness and piety that would send a young man here for a lifetime’s incarceration in the service of his and his families’ god. I struggled to reconcile an afterlife earned in this service of the Lord when your whole life has been spent working for that unseen master. Even if the reward is eternal life, the prospect of an eternity of internship makes me cringe.
Yet fortunately, the island still has its human side, that wonderful filoxenia that awaits discovery. When the air in my scooter’s tyre decided it had had enough of lugging my portly frame around and went off with a bang, I found myself in a modest hamlet where there was no sign of any refreshments. The wind whistled around me, taunting me that the rescue phone number I was dialling from the hire contract could be a hoax. Then with the speed of an overweight polecat, I struck...just the slight opening of a door and a man’s shape appearing and I summoned up my best reserves of Greek to ask if, perchance, this might be the community’s kafenion. Obviously I knew it wasn’t, but ‘me the stranger’ (the filos bit) was showered with hospitality (the xenia component) in the shape of Greek coffee, a glass of heady sweet spirit and lashings of biscuits and cake to prevent my hidden emaciated frame from miraculously appearing in the lady’s most comfortable armchair.
I could easily have dropped off to sleep in the warm glow of all this pampering but my mobile phone was not cooperating and connected me with the rescue party that had found the scooter, entombed it in his Turkish-built Transit van and was searching for yours truly. I had no idea where I was, it seemed as near to heaven as I wanted to be right then, but I passed my phone to my hostess who obviously knew my rescuer and within minutes he, too, was in the house of his cousin’s girlfriend’s mother’s younger sister politely prizing me out of the armchair and into his van. I could feel myself dozing off as we wound around the hillsides and hoped I wouldn’t disgrace myself and fall against Manolis the driver. The scooter in the back had no such qualms; tired of fighting with the restraints of its vertical position, it crashed suddenly on its side. Manolis shrugged as if to say, ‘It’s down there now’. I wonder if he would have been quite so philosophical had I crashed slumbering onto him.
Back on Samphire it was time to enjoy that crashed-out state before visiting one of the quayside restaurants that would charge me more than I wanted to pay for food I didn’t particular want to eat...but what choice is there with a loving belly and three spare tyres to support?
Still in the grip of darkness we slowly chugged towards Spinalonga Island at the north end of what is now called Elounda Lagoon. Eighty years ago it was called Marbella Bay by Imperial Airways as an evocative-sounding stopover point for their flying boats from the UK en route to the Nile near Cairo and ever onward to India...it seems hard to believe these massive beasts would do their take-off run in less than 5 minutes along the very same stretch of water we were labouring through now.
Nearly an hour later, we could pick out the shape of the old Venetian fortress, which in its latter life became one of Europe’s last isolated leper colonies. As we headed east, the sky was lightening and there wasn’t a breath of wind. The sun stuck a tentative red segment above the horizon but unlike us, it had no choice but to continue its journey. Without wind in the sails and our diesel thumping away on full power, we would just about push a path north towards the Cyclades at 5 knots. The nearest island, Anafi, is 65 nautical miles giving a potential arrival at 18.00 hours. Anafi is about 20 miles east of the much-visited tourist destination of Santorini (Thira Island) which is itself just too far away to be sure of a daylight arrival. Samphire stuck her boat-shaped ‘segment’ out into the open seas, but unlike the sun, now a cautioning orange and heavily clawing for the midday sky, we could have turned back...
When the sun became a searing white and reached its zenith, Crete, being the largest Greek island, with mountains 5000m high, still stood majestically. In fact its outline was still just visible in the distant haze as we approached Anafi’s harbour, or what masqueraded for a harbour in forgiving seas. It looked like a poor substitute for a proper harbour should winds blow up and the sea start to swell...such as well shown in the film made at Lyme Regis in Dorset, UK, The French Lieutentant’s Woman. However, not to worry, the harbour walls might be a mere groyne compared with Lyme’s towering buttresses, but the wind was gentle, the seas were flat calm and the usually reliable Poseidon weather forecast indicated no change throughout the night.
As we dropped anchor, we looked forward to a modest drop of wine and a good night’s sleep....unfortunately, we did have the wine but the good night’s sleep would be short-lived. Well before midnight declared its boredom with the dying day and long after my snoring must have echoed around the boat, fate in an impromptu test had decided to send a swell and it started to pour into our bay as if someone had opened a sluice gate into this sector of the Aegean.
The scrumptious red wine that we had carried from Crete’s best vineyard, had preceded sliding between the sheets…well, more like an involuntary backward high jump without the difficult part that wins trophies. I told myself through fractured wine-befuddled sleep that it wasn’t serious, it was nothing to concern us and it would pass by dawn. At 3am I was rudely awoken by a thumping on the hull and I knew, somehow, despite the entreaties of the wine, this was not the postman. The thumping continued and through the fug I realised the keel was bashing on the sandy bottom, and not far from sand at that depth was rocks. Out on deck the impending disaster was clear to see even in a foaming, thrashing sea; Samphire had moved on her anchor and was nearly doomed. Full revs and hard rudder saw her moving away from the rocks...now to raise the anchor and ready ourselves to drop it again a little further out in the bay of the harbour.
Job done, I crashed exhausted into my pit, but within an hour the boat was bobbing around like a rodeo steed and staying asleep was near impossible…try napping on one of the latest scream-curdling roller-coaster rides to give you a taste of what Grandfather Fate had sent to test us.
The anchor now held fast but each lurch, each snatch and each attempt by Samphire to pick up water with her gunwale edges made it clear this would be a long, maybe even an ultimate test. At 6am one of Greece’s large ferries put in on an adjacent berth and the captain wasn’t long in letting me know that worse was to come and we had two options, abandon ship and struggle ashore or put to sea and take our chances, ‘To hell with you Fate’, I shouted, ‘You’ll have to wait.’ With engine screaming and anchor barely stowed, we headed out into the storm, with a sky so black it could still have been midnight.
Samphire pounded us like a bucking bronco. It was impossible to go below for anything but with some directions from the Greek coastguard, bless them, we put into the sheltered harbour of Katopola on Amorgos island 8 hours later. Many yachting types were sheltering there and we were grateful for the willing hands that threw lines, moved fenders, shouted instructions and hauled us in to be finally secured.
Pontiff-like I was overjoyed to climb ashore and leave my lip marks in the swirling dust of the passing storm...by God did that dust taste good.
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